Weep

A POEM FROM THE WIFE OF A MAGGOT (WHITE FLIGHT) 187TH  AHC -  1969

WEEP WITH MY EYES, FOR THEY SEE ONLY STEAMING DEATH IN GREEN DARKNESS
MY SOUL HAS LEFT ROOTS IN  JUNGLE SOIL, RICH IN THE BLOOD OF MY BROTHERS.
IT PULLS AND BINDS ME INTO THE FALSE NIGHT OF WAR.

I AM LEFT DREAM-LIVING ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF SANITY...
THE TASTE OF BLOOD LIKE  HOT METAL TO MY MOUTH.

THE SMELL OF FEAR ON THE SKIN OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN ENRAGES, INTOXICATES,
HUMBLES.... YOUTH'S PASSION LEFT BEHIND, DEVIOUSLY WRAPPED IN SILKEN ASIAN
HAIR.

I JOURNEY TO COOL MY BROW AGAINST THE BLACK STONE... ETCHED WITH THE NAMES OF
THE DEAD.... THE LOST.

TREMBLING FINGERS TRACE THE MARKS.... EACH PRECIOUS NAME VIBRATES THROUGH MY
PALM WITH THE FAMILIAR FORCE OF A WEAPON... STUTTERING DEATH FAR FROM HOME.

FACES SLAM INTO MY MIND LIKE BULLETS..... THEY SPEAK PROUD NAMES ON STACCATO
BURSTS OF LIGHT...........

HOW COULD YOU BELIEVE I HAD FORGOTTEN?   I CARRY YOUR SCARS IN MY OWN SECRET
PLACES..... I HOLD YOUR LAST BREATHS DEEP  IN MY LUNGS, YOUR AGONIES CLENCHED
IN MY FIST, YOUR ANGER IN MY EYES.

I TURN FROM THIS HOLY PLACE.... MY TRUE HOME... WITH A RELUCTANT STEP.  I BEAR
YOUR MESSAGE AS MY BURDEN, I LAY IT DOWN FOR NO.... MAN...

I AM THIS COUNTRY'S ONE TRUE BANNER... THE LIVING  FLAG.  LET ALL WHO ARE
SEARED BY THE HEAT OF MY PASSAGE LOOK UPON MY VISAGE AND SEE THE FACE OF
WAR......

I WHO SHOULD SEARCH FOR PEACE.... FIND ONLY WAR.....  I CANNOT STOP  TO BREATH
THE AIR OF HARD WON FREEDOM, OR REST IN THE ARMS OF LOVE, SEEKING
COMFORT, NOURISHMENT, LIFE..........

LET SHE WHO TRY'S TO LOVE ME, WALK BESIDE ME ..... WRAP YOUR ARMS AROUND ME IN
THE NIGHT. FEEL THE HEAT OF BATTLE AND HOLD THE WAR TO YOUR BREAST...... IT
WILL SEAR AND BRAND YOU WITH THE STENCH OF WAR...

                            AND YOU WILL WEEP WITH MY EYES

                             DEBORAH MARY POEL


THIS IS FROM THE NIGHTS AND DAYS OF A WIFE THAT TRULY UNDERSTANDS WHY I AM
UNABLE TO GO TO THE WALL AND WHY THE ONLY FRIENDS I HAVE EVER HAD OTHER THAN
HER ARE MY BROTHERS IN COMBAT, FUN, AND SOMETIMES  THE NIGHT  FROM THE 187TH
AHC TAY NINH VIET NAM 1969-1970

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